| Dirty-Mouthed Dads Do Damage to their Children Glenn Lawrence, InteractiveDad.com - September 1, 2004 Cursing in front of your children can do harm. And what you should you do if your child starts using bad words. |
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(iDAD) -- You turn on the TV. You go to the movies. You listen to the radio. As hard as you might try, it's difficult to avoid cursing.But the worst language is often found at home. And dads are typically the worst offenders. “(It’s) related to a failure to manage emotions,” says Stephen Judah, Ph.D., a Columbus, OH psychologist. He says dads who curse generally “don’t have good mechanics for conflict resolution.” They use those words to express anger or frustration. The consequence of that, he says, is raising a child who lacks that same ability to resolve conflict, which is critical to avoiding other pitfalls. MY CHILD IS CURSING What should you do if you catch your child using a cuss word? It depends. If your child offers the excuse that everyone curses, including other dads, Jim O’Connor, author ofCuss Control, says you should explain that some people might talk that way but “not in our house.” He says to focus on the words that are harsh, mean and angry. He recommends dealing with the anger first, then the language. He says if a child uses profanity jokingly, be less strict. DIRTY MOUTHED DADS
“Dads who swear know it is a habit that can be difficult to control,” says O’Connor. “The first step is to recognize… they need to set a good example for the kids.” On his website, O’Connor listsTen Tips for Taming Your Tongue. Among them, he recommends: -Start eliminating casual swearing -Use alternate words -Think of what you should’ve said -Work at it O’Connor says children imitate words and they sometimes even copy the tone and attitude—which he says can be even worse. “Dads must show their children how to deal with problems and conflict calmly and with reason and maturity,” says O’Connor. He says if your child hears you curse, you should apologize. To kick the habit, some families have adopted The Cursing Kitty or The Swear Jar where dads pay a penalty for every curse word used. The money can pay bills or go toward a child’s education fund. The negative reinforcement technique works just as effectively on moms too! Be ready for a challenge because “there are no easy fixes for the swearing habit," says O'Connor. |
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